Proverbs 6:32-33 Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; he who does so destroys his own soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get, and his reproach will not be wiped away. 

Proverbs 5:3-6 For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell. Lest you ponder her path of life–her ways are unstable; you do not know them. 

We’ve all heard of stories of countless men and women committing or falling into the trap of adultery. We hear of it through media outlets or sometimes we see it firsthand.

According to the Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary, adultery is defined as “the violation of the marriage bed or the sexual intercourse of any man with a married woman or the sexual intercourse of a married man with an unmarried woman.” Most people tend to think of adultery in a physical aspect (e.g. having sexual relations with someone else other than your spouse). Studies have shown that 20% of married couples have been impacted by emotional infidelity – a relationship between a person and someone other than their spouse that affects the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the marriage.

According to internet research found on the website for Focus on the Family, these warning signs may be indicators a person(s) is involved in an emotional affair:

–They share thoughts or stories with someone of the opposite sex.

–They feel a greater emotional intimacy with him or her than they do with their spouse.

–They long for, and look forward to, their next contact or conversation.

–They feel the need to keep conversations or activities involving him or her a secret from their spouse.

–They fantasize about spending time with, getting to know or sharing a life with him or her.

(For a full listing and more info, please visit www.focusonthefamily.com.)

Ladies, I highly encourage you to guard your hearts at all cost. Anyone of us are capable of falling in this area. Satan will love to deceive, ensnare, and manipulate us into committing acts of adultery. Do not allow your feelings or emotions to overpower you. Instead, pray and ask God to give you a new heart-a heart that will resist temptations and a heart that will be open and faithfully submissive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. This is why the Bible exhorts us in Proverbs 4:23 (NLT), “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

As you wait on God’s promise for a godly husband, there will be times when you encounter seasons of loneliness. These moments are opportunities for you to grow into a much deeper and closer relationship with God while drawing upon His strength to overcome this battle. It’s challenging, believe me I know. What has and continues to help me in my singleness is keeping my focus on the Lord and what He has called me to do which encompasses the following:

–Diligently reading and studying God’s Word.

–Seeking His will and purpose for my life.

–Doing my best to be a faithful witness for Christ even though I fall short at times.

–Praying for the needs of others as well as my own needs.

–Encouraging my family and close friends, the body of Christ, my co-workers and those in my sphere of influence.

Ladies, please keep the Lord first; don’t worry about trying to find a man. If God has made this promise to you, He will bring it to pass in His time. Please do not try to bring about the promise on your own; you will only interfere with the work that God is doing through you and you may get involved with the wrong person. God doesn’t need your help! Instead of chasing after a man, pursue and chase after the Lord. After all, He is your First Love. Your love for Him should far exceed the love of anyone or anything. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 6:5, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” Remember the Lord is your Husband.

Isaiah 54:5 For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.

It has been said time and time again that no one or nothing can satisfy the deepest longings of your heart. Only Jesus can and He will. With Him, there is an abundance of living water and He alone will satisfy your thirst. Thirst for Him, for He is enough.

John 4:14 “But whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”

John 7:37b-38 “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”

Ladies, don’t lower your standards or enter into a relationship that is not from God. If a married man approaches you seeking a friendship, quickly decline the invitation, run away permanently, and do not look back. This is a major red flag! A married man who seeks friendships outside of his marriage especially with the opposite sex has ulterior motives. He definitely cannot be trusted! The same holds true if you are courting someone. Any man who discloses to you or you become aware that he is flirtatious or he says his friends are like his sisters, but in reality, he is secretly having some type of affair with one or all of them is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. This type of behavior is a true reflection of his character. It indicates he has a lack of integrity. It also shows that he is deceitful and manipulative and a womanizer who speaks lies with little or no respect for women. He cares only for himself and he will do anything to satisfy his fleshly desires. Ladies, a person of this nature is a prime example of what type of man “NOT TO GET INVOLVED WITH NOR MARRY.”

Galatians 6:7-8 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.

James 1:7-8 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. 

I’ve said this before and it’s worth saying again: “If you observe this type of behavior in a man now (e.g. Flirtatiousness with other women; physical/emotional affairs), this is a clear indicator he will treat you the same way. Please do not deceive yourself into thinking or allow him to convince you that you are the exception and he will never repeat this vicious cycle with you. He’s a liar! What you see now is what you get later”. Ladies, please do not allow your emotions or feelings to tell you otherwise. Instead, quickly end the relationship, permanently break off all communication, run away, and don’t look back. The Lord has a wonderful, godly, Spirit-filled man He desires you to have. As I’ve mentioned before, if the Lord has made this promise to you, He will certainly bring it to pass.

2 Corinthians 1:20 For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.

Genesis 18:14a “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”

The Lord will give you His very Best!!! He is Faithful!!!

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. 

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. 

Psalm 84:11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. 

Let me further add – it’s ok if you have brothers in the faith. Along with my sisters in Christ, I also have brothers in Christ who I see at church on a weekly basis. They are all godly men who reflect the heart of Jesus in their words and actions. What I admire most about each one of them is their desire to please the Lord. There is no hidden agenda. Neither I nor them engage in any type of flirtatious behavior. We share one common bond which is to exalt, glorify, and serve our Lord together along with the body of Christ in the love and unity of the Spirit.

Ladies, please do not get involved in an adulterous relationship. If you have or you are currently involved in one, I encourage you to quickly end it and repent. God is a God of order and He will never approve of a  relationship of this nature. It’s not in His character to do so. He is a holy God who will not be mocked and He will never bless a mess. I’ve heard pastors and bible teachers say, “Secret sin on earth is open scandal in heaven.”

God is also a God of love, rich in mercy and full of compassion who is ready and willing to forgive you as you turn to Him and repent. He will quickly forgive you of all your sins, and remember them no more.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Jeremiah 31:34b For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.

Psalm 103:8 The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.

Lamentations 3:22-23 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 

Jeremiah 31:3b “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”

Ladies, I also encourage you not to live up to the title of a seductress or become the initiator of an adulterous relationship. God will by no means tolerate that type of behavior. Instead, let your ways be pleasing to the Lord. Be modest and respectful in the way you carry yourself. On a very important side note, this also applies to the choices you make concerning your outward appearance. As women of God, we really need to be more conservative in our style of dress. We should not be wearing skin tight clothes, short dresses, mini skirts, and showing cleavage. Here’s some food for thought: The way you dress will help a man to make a determination of who you are as a woman. When I was living in sin and before my rededication to Christ, I use to wear provocative clothes. But as I’ve grown in my relationship with the Lord, He has since convicted me of my style of dress. He has shown me through His word of how a godly woman should carry herself. Ladies, we are ambassadors of a holy God and we should be holy in our representation of Him which also includes our apparel. Recently, I listened to one of Dr. J. Vernon McGee’s archived messages on the radio program, Thru The Bible. He once said, “We are living in a day when a woman’s dress has become a great temptation to man.”

Ladies, as daughters of the Most High King, let’s take the high road and be diligent in following God’s standards in all areas of our lives – in the choices we make, our conduct/behavior, and our style of dress. Don’t allow this world to influence you; instead, have a godly impact on the culture around you.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

The lesson in all of this is to not allow yourself to be placed in a position where the words: adultery and/or immoral woman are associated with who you are. The dangers of adultery has painful consequences. It leads to death. Once your reputation is tarnished, it’s hard to reinstate your good name. Instead, resist the devil, take a bold stand for Christ and continually pray to Him. Ask the Lord to give you His strength to resist all types of temptations and immorality. God is faithful and He will give you the strength to do so.

John 10:10 “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

James 4:7-8a Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

Ephesians 6:10-18 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all preservance and supplication for all the saints–